A Day's Reflections

It had been a long day. I was hot, tired, dirty, and ready to be home. Two energetic kids (just picked up from school) and I bust through the door, and I go straight upstairs in search of more comfortable clothes before the afternoon routine begins – after school snack, homework, and everything else. I get changed and go to wash off my face, rinsing off a couple layers of dirt and sweat. Then I paused.

This morning, I spent about 5 hours going from house to house in Los Pinos, up little trails, jumping across small cliffs and where the ground had been washed out, to do ministry that day. During just this one day, I delivered school supplies to various children starting classes whose moms couldn’t afford them, and I found myself in the middle of a family in a screaming fight – words full of hate, tearing each other down, like they have for years and years. I bring food donations to an elderly, sick woman who breaks down in tears as she explains how her son cried himself to sleep the night before because he was so hungry. She showed me the bowl of food he took to school that day – a slurry of flour and water, nothing more – and the single egg she had hidden away so she could give him food before he went to bed at night. I sat briefly with two precious young girls who have been abandoned by their mom and left to their grandma instead, a woman with no means or desire to take care of them. They cling to me, starved of affection, desperate for someone to hug them, listen to them, do anything beside lock them in the house and leave. They scream as I leave, and it breaks my heart everytime. I met the man who controls the drug trafficking in this area, as he’s the new boyfriend of a woman I meet with occasionally – she has two children, an abusive ex boyfriend, and is desperate to be loved by anyone. Unfortunately her decision will not only hurt her, physically and emotionally, but also her two beautiful children who have already been through a lot. I pray with many families, some who are rejoicing and full of hope and others who break down in tears because they just cannot see what God is doing amidst all of their struggles.

After all of that, I come home and I wash it all off. It just doesn’t feel right.

I then have to be fully present with my kids, not forgetting everything I’ve seen that day but putting it aside. I sit down for a brownie as an after school snack with my beautiful, healthy children and together we work on their homework sent home by their bilingual Christian school. I clean the house, cook dinner from cabinets that have never been empty, we play a bit, and the kids take hot showers before we cuddle up for a bedtime story.

Two different worlds.

My mornings in Los Pinos are heavy, many times exhausting physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But at the end of the day, I get to come home and wash it all off when so many people don’t. They don’t have the option to be tired, to take a break, or escape it for a while. Should I feel guilty? Should I reject the physical blessings God has given me? Instead, I choose to praise God and trust Him with everything.

While praying over the New Year 2016, God showed me Psalm 91, a wonderfully encouraging passage. I praise God that He is my refuge and my strength. I praise Him that although I see destruction, I see evil, and I see disaster to my right and to my left, He covers me and won’t let any of it touch me. I praise Him that He has spared me from so much, and so I will leverage everything He has given me to love His people and spread His truth wherever He calls me to.

In every city, every country, every neighborhood, there are people God wants to reach. There are people who feel trapped, people who are broken, and people who are spiritually starved. How much more responsibility do we, with all our resources, have to reach these people intentionally, not just when they happen to cross our path or sit down in front of us, but intentionally search them out and pursue them, even if it means getting a little dirty.

This is just my reflection for today. I might have “washed” it all off for today, but I’ll be right back in the middle of it again tomorrow because it is where God has called me to be, and He has a great plan. I encourage you to do the same.  Ask God where, and He’ll show you.