Unbelievable grace

It’s been a little while since I’ve updated yall on everything, and a lot has definitely happened. It’s been a crazy couple weeks, just trying to figure out what’s best for this ministry, who really wants to be here, what these boys’ futures look like, and how best to help them. On top of all that, we just welcomed another World Race squad of 57 onto the property, and Cassie back from the states. So it’s full here and as busy as ever. BUT we can see God working in all the situations here and making so clear the decisions that need to be made. I want to just tell yall about Herman’s journey the past couple weeks. Coming back from Copan, Herman carried back his same struggles of unreliability and struggles in becoming a leader. But I think he came back with a new perspective of leadership at least. He’s a hard worker when he works, but he’s been very easily distracted by playstation or some of his friends who aren’t always the best influence. He has a tendency to not follow through with obligations because he changes his mind on what he wants to do. He’s an 18 year old boy, so right now is that transition from “one of the boys” to a leader who can help lead the younger ones and teams who come here. A few days ago, we had an incident where Herman went out on the bus with the group, but then decided he wanted time to think and he wanted to go into Los Pinos. He also made the unfortunate decision to invite Josue into Los Pinos with him, and long story short, Josue has a long history with Tony with many ups and downs, and he’d been clean from drugs for 14 days, but by no means had the strength to be in Los Pinos overnight and not do drugs. So the two of them spent the night in Los Pinos, not together though. I talked with Herman a few times that night over the phone, trying to get through to him the importance of his actions and the fact that he has a family here waiting for him but he decided to go into Los Pinos instead without asking anyone. By Herman’s request, Josue went into Los Pinos, and now he has thrown away those 14 days clean and a trip to Roatan with the group and living on the property with Tony, and he’s back on the streets doing thinner. I want Herman to understand the power he has as a leader, and that he has to be super careful because of it. I also talked to him a lot about the fact that he has a family here on the property and I never want him to doubt that. Sometimes he says he has too many problems, he doesn’t feel like he’s good here sometimes, but I need him to realize that we all have problems, but this place is welcoming him with open arms with love and forgiveness, and he needs to take advantage of that. He needs confidence soo badly, to realize that his problems don’t define him and his past is the past. He has a beautiful, loving, caring, protective heart. He so strongly desires to learn and to grow and to engage in community. I pray every day that he learns to feel the powerful GRACE of God and start to understand what that means in his life. Because once he starts to see himself as a son of God, completely redeemed and restored, I believe his thinking will radically change. He won’t revert back to past things or be tied down by his mistakes, he will live in FREEDOM and HOPE of the future. So whoever reads this, I just ask that you pray these verses over him, and just that he understands and feels God’s grace and redemption for him every single day.

“The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned” – Psalms 34:22

“Bless the Lord O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” – Psalms 103: 1-5

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. “ – Titus 2: 11-14

And I ask for prayers for me too, just wisdom on how best to help Herman on this journey. He has some huge plans for his future (info about this will probably be coming soon!) and I want to help him achieve those goals. This is all very new for me, and most of the time I have no idea if I’m doing anything right. I just have to trust that God is speaking through my words and actions, but I’ve definitely struggled lately trying to make sure I’m making a difference. I don’t just want to be Herman’s friend. He has plenty of those and he doesn’t need anymore. What he does need is someone to keep him accountable and someone he can look up to spiritually and someone who he can know is ALWAYS there for him, no matter what. I want to be that person. I’ve had some really really good time with him the past three or four days, which I’m starting to value more and more as I realize how little time I have left here. I think that’s one of the main reasons I got so upset the night he went back to Los Pinos is because I want him on the property, I want him to show Tony he can do this because I know he can, and I want to have time with him while I can. I just felt so incredibly helpless and upset to hear that someone I consider family chose to be in Los Pinos for the night. I don’t want anyone I care about in that environment. So that was a rough night for me, but since then I’ve had amazing quality time with Herman and I can really see him growing. So yeah, long story short, pray for us. I’m a 19 year old with plenty of problems trying to help an 18 year old boy off the street. Neither of us know what the heck we’re doing, but somehow God is making it work. God always seems to make the most unlikely successes into absolutely beautiful things, and he’s definitely doing that here in our lives.