Day Six - Foster Care

Today’s topic is a little hard for me to write about because I don’t feel like I could ever say enough to encompass all of what foster care is, but also it's really just as simple as raising and loving two kids as my own.  Here in Honduras, I don’t like referring to Asmin and Anderson as part of my “ministry.” While that’s one way to look at it, raising these kids is so much more and they’re certainly not a project – they’re family; we are a family.

Their story is long, but to summarize, Asmin and Anderson come from an incredibly unstable home where they were not cared for or given a chance at life. They grew up in severe poverty, malnourished, and never placed in the education system. The only father figures in their lives were the various men who stuck around shortly then left, or their uncle who was involved in the gang, was deeply addicted to drugs, and couldn’t hold a stable job to provide for his family. As part of a family of five kids, from a young age they became caregivers instead of being kids themselves.

(Anderson and Asmin (orange shirt and pants) in their home with mom and uncle, about 3 years ago)

While God has not called me to start a children’s home or take in a whole bunch of kids, He did specifically and carefully place these two with me. When God did that, He changed their lives and my life, and created a unique little family in our home. I might not have been confident in my readiness to become an instant single mom, but God equipped me in His perfect timing, It’s not easy, but interestingly enough, it’s led me to be able to understand more the struggles of a single mom (almost all the women I work with).

 (When I first met Anderson, summer 2012)

(When Asmin moved in, summer 2013)

The kids have been with me now over two years and are doing great. Some things they’ve adapted to well like living in a real house setting, learning to take care of things, responsibility, etc, while some habits take longer to flush out like thinking that every piece of trash you find on the street is a toy. The important thing though is that they are healthy, growing, learning, and happy.

The kids and I stay very connected with their family and I see the path their sisters are on. They live in a house where they are not wanted, constantly shipped around from mom, to grandma, to dad, etc. The young ones (2 and 4) are left to care for themselves ALONE IN THE HOUSE for hours, and the oldest (10) with a mild learning disability is constantly reminded that she is dumb and not wanted. They all live in a dirty environment, no clean water, one meal a day, if they’re lucky.

This is why its hard for me to write this blog. I could go on and on about stories and atrocities I’ve seen in their family situation, but I don’t like even thinking about the idea that they could still be living in that. Without God’s crazy plan, they would be there,  they would’ve seen their uncle carried off to prison this week, they would be told they’re nothing and probably become nothing, they would bear the weight  of providing for their home at far too young an age, the list goes on and on. Every time I see a kid selling on the street or digging in the garbage, sometimes even younger than my kids, I see Anderson. I see Asmin. I see what they’re lives could’ve been, and it brings me to tears. Two kids who I love so much could have lived their lives in an unimaginable situation. And I can’t help but acknowledge that there are countless children trapped in that that may never make it out.

Looking to the past and the "could’ve beens" is hard, so I much prefer looking forward and declaring for them all the promises God has for them. Asmin and Anderson will know the Lord as their Father and personal Savior. They will spark change in their family and community. They will reach the potential that God has laid out for them and they wont fall into the traps that Satan used on their family. They will overcome their circumstances. They will be deeply loved every single day of their lives and they will know their priceless worth.

Like I said, I could never fully put into words what raising these two kids means to me. It has changed my life, and it’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t change it in a million years. Odds are, they’ll be with me for a long time. This is not an “official” foster care arrangement through government organizations; instead its more informal and dependent on the will of the parents. However, I don’t anticipate a knock on my door any time soon asking for the kids back. As long as I have them, I will love them and raise them in a Godly household, pointing them towards Him and being their stability, their biggest fan, and their mom.

There is a huge need for foster parents everywhere, the USA and Honduras alike. While mine is a bit of an unconventional arrangement, I can say from experience that this is a route of ministry like none other to completely change the course of a child’s life. Now that God has shown me my heart for this kind of ministry, I hope in the future to be able to become an actual foster parent here in Honduras, registered with the government, once I’m married or at least have more help in the house. I’d have to jump through some hoops to qualify considering my age, being single, and already having two kids, but countless abandoned babies live weeks or months in hospitals because there is no one to care for them until they are adopted. That’s not ok, and God willing in the future, I’d love to be able to step in the gap for some of these kids as well.  

Thanks for reading along so far, and tomorrow will be the last blog of the week! I'll be sharing a bit more about my dreams for the future and what I need to make it there!