Reactions

The mark of a Christian is not that nothing bad happens to him (anyone who believes that doctrine will see their belief crumble quickly), but how they react when difficult things inevitably do happen.  One’s reaction when they are angry, scared, frustrated, or offended clearly reveals their heart and priorities.

In the past week, I was tested on this twice. First, I was feeling very frustrated with a couple of young women whom I pour into in Los Pinos. I would love to tell you that all the kids I sponsor are gold-star students, always perfectly polite, and that they understand from a young age the value of the opportunity that they’ve been given. In some moments, they are. But the reality is that they are not perfect, they come from homes where the only form of communication is screaming and anger, they can’t share struggles because they’ll just be mocked for it, and they have lived in situations of desperation for as long as they can remember. These are the ones God has called me to love. With love, comes grace. God covered me with grace so that I can extend it to others, and I pray that my grace towards them can point them towards God’s perfect, never ending grace.  

The second incident that tested my reaction was when after a normal day in Los Pinos, I return to my car only to find the back windshield smashed. Immediate reaction – anger. There was no reason to smash the windshield, nothing was stolen (nor was there anything in the car to steal), and everyone in the community knows why I’m always there. This is the first time I’ve ever had this problem. However, very quickly God calmed me down. I’ve always said to God that happen what will happen to my things, just take care of my kids and I. What is a broken windshield when countless people lose their lives everyday to senseless violence, a life taken to steal a $5 cell phone. I thought back to a story I was told that very day, a 16 year old girl (cousin of one of the families I visit) who is abused by her gang member boyfriend, now trapped in the relationship because if she tries to leave they will kill her without a second thought. And as I walked down to leave, I realized that God had never told me not to go into Los Pinos that day (like He has many times before). It was ok that this happened, God saw it, God was there, He took care of me, and somehow it’s part of His plan. What more could I ask for. The car is a ministry car, provided for by Him and used for His purposes – He WILL take care of it!

These things happen, but how I react affects my witness as a Christian. How I react can point people towards God or away from Him. Missionaries, pastors, Christian leaders, etc. live under public scrutiny. Because of that, we have a responsibility to live like people are watching (because they are). Fleeing from even the appearance of sin, not excusing sinful behavior by saying its just our personality, and reacting carefully when stressful things come our way are of utmost importance. Certainly we don’t do it perfectly, sometimes we don’t even do it well, but the important thing is that we strive for the perfection that God calls us to, because so many people are watching! Of course, when aiming for perfection, we will certainly fail and make us that much more thankful for God’s grace, but I believe that what people see in our daily walk with the Lord, what we say and what we do on a normal day, is far more important than anything we could get up and say into a microphone.

I pray that God continues to work in me, teaching me faith regardless of what may come. This month especially, I’ve rested in this passage:

Psalm 91

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]

2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you

from the fowler’s snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes

and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”

and you make the Most High your dwelling,

10 no harm will overtake you,

no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy him

and show him my salvation.”

So how must I react: I react with grace to those who offend me, because I am not the most important. I live not for my sake, but for His. I react with an unshaken faith in God’s goodness and His ability and desire to protect me.  I continue to serve as He calls me to, not holding on to my own pride or material things, because that’s not what I’m here for. I refuse to live in fear or harbor resentment, because those things don't come from the Lord.  No one can foil God’s plan, so as long as I follow Him in ministry, God is responsible for how everything turns out, all I have to do is obey and glorify Him.