Adoption and Lessons from Swim Class

For the past three months, Asmin and Anderson have been attending weekly swim classes. While they love it now, the first couple of months were filled with fear, occasionally tears, and timidness. Sometimes these kids seem fearless, but man are they afraid of water. Some kids have progressed through the classes much more quickly, and some dive right in on the first day, not worried about how deep the pool is or their lack of ability to swim. As I was watching them this past Saturday, I got to thinking.

I've seen many ways that instinctual fear pops up in their lives. Compared to other kids, they seem a bit more aware of the danger and fragility of the world around them. Many of the kids I work with in Los Pinos exhibit many of the same behaviors, and much more so than what I observe in Asmin and Anderson. Kids don’t take as many risks because experience has shown them that there will be no one to catch them if they fall. Kids who grow up in homes where love is conditional are careful and fearful when they make a mistake. They learn from an early age that you don’t stray far from your front door, you don’t explore or try new things, and you certainly don’t try to stretch your abilities. You don't necessarily "shoot for the moon" when you make big decisions because that means there could be a big fall. The risk is too great.

It is hard for me to watch the remnants of these instincts in Asmin and Anderson. They don’t stray far from the edge of the pool despite my reassurances that there are plenty of people (myself included) who would dive into the pool should there be any danger at all. Some kids would be completely secure with that promise, but they are still unsure. Asmin’s first instinct when she gets hurt is to hide and cry by herself, instead of running into waiting arms because instinct tells her no one is there for her. Anderson’s reaction to a simple correction is overblown, fearful, and self-deprecating because he grew up in a home where love is conditional and the “bad kids” get sent away. I remember seeing uncertainty in both of the kids last year when I visited the States and promised to return in fifteen days; they had been told that before, but the promise was not fulfilled.

Over the past five years, God has done serious healing and restoration in both kids’ hearts and minds. I’ve seen so much progress as they rewrite what they had learned during the first few years of their lives, but it is a long process. As we move forward with the adoption, they will soon have physical evidence and a new last name that promise a lifetime of family and love and protection. However, that won’t erase their instincts overnight.

I got to thinking about the transition we go through when we are adopted by our Heavenly Father; I think it is very comparable! Praise God, in an instant we are adopted into His Kingdom, given victory over this world and over death, and blessed with all of his blessings and promises including that He will never leave us nor forsake us, He will provide for us out of His abundant riches, and He will guide and protect our steps. Because of the fall however, before we are adopted we live in much a different reality. We do NOT have victory over sin and evil, making the world a much scarier and more dangerous place. Our guidance and provision must come from our own strength, which is so inadequate in the situations we face. We don’t have any guarantees or promises, leaving ourselves vulnerable and making risk-taking too dangerous a decision.

When we are adopted, that is a big transition to make! Risky unknown situations still look scary, and evil still looks like a formidable foe, even though we have been given victory over all of it. Much like I watch over Asmin and Anderson, at times confused by their fear because I can assure them of their safety and security, I imagine that God watches over us and wonders why we fear situations in this world when He is in complete control. When we get hurt, we try to make it all better on our own instead of running immediately into His open arms waiting for us. With time, however, the faithfulness of God is proven in our lives time and time again, and we learn to live in and be comfortable in the new life we’ve been adopted into. We can go wherever God tells us to go knowing that He will provide and guide us. We can stand face to face with evil without fear because we already have victory over it. We can have peace during the most difficult of situations because our Heavenly Father fights our battles and takes care of us. His name is on our lives – He won’t let us fall!

This is a lesson I’ll probably keep learning all my life, though God has already increased my faith by leaps and bounds. Problems don’t steal my peace; the unexpected or unknown doesn’t scare me. I can walk where He tells me to walk, knowing that His favor will open every door. I don’t fear evil or those who could want to do me harm because God is responsible for my life. What freedom is this!

This faith has only grown over time. Each time I see God keep His promises, my faith grows even more. EVERY promise He has given me has been proven in my life.

This is the journey that Asmin and Anderson are on as part of my family, and I pray that it will give them a special glimpse into their adoption into the Heavenly family as well. As an imperfect mom, I will continue to show them my faithfulness, unconditional love, and protection over their hearts, minds, and souls as they learn to trust and believe all the promises I give them. Little by little, I pray that they will learn to relax and live in the rest and freedom that a forever family gives them, and that they can see that even my best effort is dwarfed by the incredible love and security that the Heavenly Father has for them. I pray that they learn to jump into life (and the pool) without fear, trusting that they are known, loved, and cherished. And I hope that we can all do the same as brothers and sisters adopted by the Most High!